Relationship

, ,

5 Ways to Become Independent of Your Codependency!

, ,
5 Ways to Become Independent of Your Codependency!

It was not until recently that I discovered a root cause of all my toxic, and failed relationships: Codependency. You see, I have had no reason to define, or put a name to my own behaviors because when you are not aware of your own actions being toxic, you have no reason to think differently. It is very clear to me why I have always felt ‘less than’, or unable to please the people in my life, and it has so much to do with the codependent mindset I have developed from believing I had to put others above myself.

In this post, I share 5 important tools and skills I use on daily basis to help me become independent of my codependency. This is by no means the be-all, end-all, but it is a good start for those that may be struggling in their current relationships, and not necessarily know why. This post is to serve as an important reminder that you deserve to be treated the way you treat others and that you are allowed to set healthy boundaries, and standards for yourself, and YOUR happiness.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you!   

,

You Must Be Willing to Stand Alone!

,
You Must Be Willing to Stand Alone!

The word ‘alone’ gets a bad reputation because a lot of people tend to associate being alone with being lonely; that is simply not the case. Being alone is a choice; being lonely is a feeling. A feeling that we have the ability to change on our own!

It has been a full year since I made the decision to move away from home, and in that time, the term ‘alone’ has taken on a much different, and very important meaning in my life.  

In this post, I share with you what I have learned thus far since choosing to be alone. When we are able to make decisions for ourselves, lead a life that fulfills us, and are able to find reasons to enjoy our own company, we quickly find out that being alone is quite the opposite of being lonely. In fact, choosing to stand alone just may be exactly what you need to figure out exactly who you are. 

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.  

,

(Please) STOP ‘Looking’ For Love…It Will Find YOU!

,
(Please) STOP ‘Looking’ For Love…It Will Find YOU!

Now that February is here, I wanted to start off strong with a ‘love’ post, since that tends to be the common theme this month, with Valentine’s Day right around the corner. This can stir up a mixture of emotions within people depending on their current relationship status, or situation. Regardless of if you are currently in a relationship, boycotting them, or wanting to be in one, the message within this post is for anyone!

In this post, I talk about ‘love’ and the injustice we are doing ourselves by looking for it in all the wrong places, settling for it because we think we need someone, or hoping for it because we believe it will fill a void. I talk about the differences between loneliness and being alone, and hopefully, you will leave this article with the important message of self-love, and why we should ever only focus on that kind of love in the first place.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you!

,

Change Is Important... So, Why Do We Fight It?

,
Change Is Important... So, Why Do We Fight It?

We have all been told that change is necessary for growth, and if this is the case, why do we avoid it at all costs? Is it fear of the unknown that we are the most afraid of? Or is it the comfort of an ‘okay’ life that keeps us from feeling like anything needs to change in the first place? Change is scary and you are not alone in thinking that, but also, the only thing you should fear, is never getting to experience your fullest life; the one on the other side of change.  

 
In this post, I talk about the importance of change in our lives, and why we shouldn’t fear it as much as we should just embrace it. Change is inevitable, and it will hurt a lot less if we don’t fight it.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

,

It's A Hopeless Time to Be A Hopeless Romantic!

,
It's A Hopeless Time to Be A Hopeless Romantic!

Dating in this day and age has become much more complicated than it needs to be, and it certainly has changed drastically in the last 10 years alone. Whatever happened to being able to strike up a conversation with a stranger, or letting someone know how you feel about them without playing games? With online dating apps becoming the social norm, it has become a difficult time for 'hopeless romantics' to find that good old fashioned story you now only read about, or see in movies. 

In this post, I talk about some of the frustrations I have come across with dating apps, and I provide a positive perspective for those who may be feeling a bit hopeless. 

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

, ,

Setting Boundaries Is Not Selfish; It's Survival!

, ,
Setting Boundaries Is Not Selfish; It's Survival!

One of the hardest challenges we must face in life is learning how to set boundaries within our relationships. What makes it so hard is the fact that we have grown so used to being a certain way, that it can feel like we are learning to walk again once we decide to put our foot down. Unfortunately, most people will never learn to set necessary boundaries, and I do not want you to fall into that category.
 
In this post, we will talk about recognizing when we need to take a step back and reevaluate some of the unhealthy boundaries we have in place currently. It is not selfish to value the relationship you have with yourself and to notice when you may be giving up too much of who you are. Creating boundaries is essential to your happiness, and it is a means of surviving this often, cruel world.
 
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

,

Two Years Sober & Learning How to Love Myself Again.

,
Two Years Sober & Learning How to Love Myself Again.

I never thought this day would come, because, like most addicts, I never wanted to admit that I had a problem. Nobody grows up knowing that one-day sobriety will become their fate, nor does anyone plan to self-destruct their way to ‘rock bottom’. But here I am, at day 731, and still choosing to climb up the wall of recovery.

In this post, I talk about the struggles I have faced in my two years of sobriety, as well as the beautiful things I have learned during the process of this lifelong journey. This post is less about sobriety and more about becoming who I was meant to be. Regardless of if you are sober, we are ALL having to heal from something, and this is just a story of my recovery thus far.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you. 

,

You Were Whole Before Someone Made You Feel Broken!

,
You Were Whole Before Someone Made You Feel Broken!

Out of all the messages I receive, the most frequent question I get asked is, “How were you able to heal a broken heart?” It is no secret that I have felt “broken” before since my journey with writing started when I was in a very depressed state from the loss of someone I never intended on losing.
 
When I started sharing my words with the world three years ago, I was just a sad girl who was only looking for a way to heal her ‘brokenness’. What I learned in the process was something I never expected: I discovered that I had been a whole person all along and that it was up to me to brush myself off, repair the damage done, and find the love I had lost for myself while giving it to someone else.
 
In this post, I remind those out there who are suffering from feeling broken that they have always been whole; it was just ourselves that convinced us of anything different.
 
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you. 

, ,

The Role of 'Best Friend' is One of the Most Important!

, ,
The Role of 'Best Friend' is One of the Most Important!

How many of you knew that #NationalBestFriendDay was this past week? (How many of you knew that there is a #NationalDay for practically everything?) I have always been a big supporter of this day specifically, and it is because I think the role of a ‘best friend’ needs to be celebrated more. Despite being proud of the independence I have created for myself, the ‘best friend’s’ I have in my life are a huge part of my strong personal foundation.

In this post, I talk about the importance of friendship, and I explain why the role of a ‘best friend’ should be celebrated on more than just one day. In a world that is constantly challenging our every move, thought, and belief, it is nice to know that there is someone out there who makes our world a better place. 

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

,

10 Reasons Why I Will Never Regret the Time I Spent Alone

,
10 Reasons Why I Will Never Regret the Time I Spent Alone

I have spent the past couple years ‘alone’, and if you ask me, they have been the most beneficial years of my life. Somewhere along the way I think we were convinced that we must have someone to feel important, and I have learned that no one should validate our own existence except for ourselves.

In this post, I share with you 10 reasons why I will never regret the time I spent alone, and why we need to stop being so afraid of figuring out exactly who we are when no one else is around.  

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you. 

The Company You Keep... Is It Hurting You? Or Is It Helping You?

The Company You Keep... Is It Hurting You? Or Is It Helping You?

In this post, I talk about the importance of who we choose to surround ourselves with, and I beg the question: Are there people in your life that are holding you back? 

To become the best versions of ourself, the company that we keep has a lot to do with that. Their influence on our behaviors, and the way they lead their lives, will impact us either positively, or negatively. The good thing about this, is that we always have a say in who we decide to be inspired by. If there are toxic people in your life, now is the best time to start separating yourself from anything negative. So, I must ask you: Is the company that you keep, hurting you, or helping you?

Being alone is not synonymous with being lonely.

Being alone is not synonymous with being lonely.

Being alone should never scare you, in fact, it should excite you. For so long, I thought worth was something you found when loving someone else, but this is just not the case. What I found was loneliness, and it was because I didn't know how to be alone, and what that truly meant. So I tried it, and what I learned through this process was how to make myself happy. Too many people think that their existence is validated by another person, but I am here to tell you that you are the only person who can define your worth. You need to know the difference between being alone, and experiencing loneliness. One can hurt you, while the other will heal you. Get to know who you are, and find out that you were so much more capable than you ever thought possible.