There is a profound quote that was once said by Jim Rohn, that states, “We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.” – And the more you think about it, there is a huge truth behind that. If you constantly surround yourself with negative people, the odds of you becoming negative are much greater. Same goes for positive people; if you make sure to hang around those that are spreading positivity, there is a good chance that it will be contagious, and you will notice a new desire to want to form good habits. But there is so much more that goes into this than just negative vs. positive. When it comes to the company that you keep, you need to make sure that those in your circle have goals that they are trying to accomplish, challenges they are determined to overcome, and the motivation to make themselves grow as a person. This is important, because whether you recognize it or not, the people you choose to surround yourself with will say a lot about the person that you think you are.
So, how do you recognize the people that are holding you back, and what do you do to make sure that doesn’t happen?
I don’t want to state the obvious answer, which would be to no longer be in their life; but I do not feel that is the right way to go about finding which people to keep in your life either. First and foremost, you must get honest about this person’s actions, and ask yourself if there is something that can easily be fixed within their toxic behaviors. Take a look at their upbringing, and try to understand why they are the way that they are. Have they been dealt some harder cards to deal with? Although this is not an excuse for someone to use, it could just be that they have never been shown another way. Are they the culprit to their own bad decisions? What kind of steps have they made to become a better person? Are they doing anything in their life that is going to help them grow into a better version of themselves? Are there certain circumstances that keep this person from reaching their full potential?
Either way you answer those questions, we are faced with two kinds of people: Those who make excuses, and those who make actions. It is the ones that make excuses you should be careful about. Don’t get me wrong, I am a believer in everyone being capable of change, but in my experience, those who make excuses are typically the ones who will always bring you down. I don’t mean for that to sound as harsh as it may come off, but I think we can all agree that those who cannot take blame for their own actions, are also always the ones who never make any.
What it boils down to is simple: effort.
The people that I want to surround myself with are constantly giving their best effort in anything that they do. That does NOT mean that they do not know failure, it just means that they get back up if something pulls them down. They keep trying, and they don’t settle for anything less than a lesson learned. The people I choose to keep around me are those that inspire me to want to be more. More of everything. These are the kind of people that are going to help you, because it is them who challenge you to become better. We all need people in our lives who light a certain flame that we contain inside of us, that maybe we just didn’t know existed yet.
“We need to find people who are smarter than us, more successful than us, and people who are a good example of becoming the best version of who they are.”
When it comes to removing people from our lives, it is never an easy thing to do, because despite which category of person that they fall into, they are still a part of your life. With that said, if you are trying to make the right kind of changes in your life, there is going to come a point where you can no longer excuse their behavior. You may not feel right about pulling away from some relationships, but ultimately, you must do what is best for yourself, and life is far too short to not progress due to someone else. There are always going to be toxic people in this world, but it is up to us to use our experiences dealing with others to recognize when we need to walk away from certain people.
So, if the saying is true, that we become like the 5 people we surround ourselves with the most, who are you going to become? Do those people inspire you daily, and make you want to become your best self? Do you make sure that you are always surrounded by people with great minds, and big ideas? Nobody is perfect, and even the best people we need in our lives are going to have bad days, because that is human nature. But who are they consistently?
Life is already hard enough, and we do not need negative forces in our life making it that much harder. What we need is a good support system. One that inspires us, and makes us wake up each morning with a drive for life. We must want to be challenged and learn how to overcome certain feats we will face as we continue to grow in our journey. We need to find people who are smarter than us, more successful than us, and people who are a good example of becoming the best version of who they are.
Once you rid your life of all the things, and people that are holding you back, you will be able to find your way much easier. The path will start to clear of the debris that was hanging around, and you will be able to steer clear of all things toxic. The company you keep has so much to do with that.
I like to look at it like this: If you take the people in your life and you actually look at them as a company, would it succeed, or would it fail? Do you have the right people running that company, or are you in search of hiring people that will do a better job?
Get honest about who you are surrounding yourself with on a daily basis. Are they hurting you? Or are they helping you?
-Megan Lawrence