Mental Illness

Recovery: Day 1,096

Recovery: Day 1,096

Today marks three years of recovery for me, and what amazes me the most is how quickly time is able to pass us by if we do not pay attention. This is what recovery has been about for me; paying attention. At first, what started out as realizing and admitting I had a substance use disorder, had now become a three-year recovery process of understanding…why. By showing up for my life, keeping myself accountable for my own choices, and learning how to express my emotions in a healthy manner, I have been able to see another day and live my best life in recovery.

In this post, I will share with you some of my biggest recovery struggles, and why this way of life is no easy feat. I will talk about what recovery has offered me thus far, and despite the challenge of it, why I would not live another way. Regardless of what it is you may be battling, recovery from anything is a day to day process. Recovery is simply choosing to want the best for yourself and your life, and getting honest about the things that pull you away from that.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

End of the Month Recap: Getting Honest in June!

End of the Month Recap: Getting Honest in June!

June has been the first month that I did not post each Saturday morning. I take that back. I guess that began the last week of May. My point is, June has been a month of self-reflection for me; more so than usual. I have been pondering what I have been wanting to do with this site moving forward, and the kind of content I want to provide and support. I have been reevaluating what is important to me and the direction I see for myself as a person. I am telling you this because I think it is important for everyone to reflect on the person they have become, and where they are headed. That was the overall theme for me in the month of June.

In this recap, I share some of the truths I was able to uncover and learn about myself this past month. If what I share speaks to you on a deeper level, or a bit closer to home, maybe it is time for you to take a look inward, and see if you are living life true to yourself, and your purpose. Maybe, just maybe, there is something I discovered this month that you needed to read at this point in your life. Whether or not that is the case, I appreciate you for being here anyways.

My Thoughts on Suicide!

My Thoughts on Suicide!

With the recent passing of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, the topic of Suicide and Mental Illness has taken a front row seat in the news. It is unfortunate that it must take these kinds of extremes to get people talking, but I am a firm believer in these being the kinds of conversations that we need to be having more of. In a world filled with so much suffering, there has got to be a way for us to discuss these kinds of issues. By remaining available, as well as vulnerable, to those closest to us, we can begin creating a ‘safe space’ for those that are desperately just trying to be heard, seen, and felt.

In this post, I share my thoughts on Suicide and I suggest ways that we can ALL get better at when it comes to paying attention to the people in our lives and those around us. Suicide is a dark topic, but we need to know that there can be a light shed on it. We do that by talking about it, reading about it, and doing what we can to understand it to the best of our abilities. This is just my attempt at doing that through my own knowledge, and experience with it.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

End of the Month Recap: 5 Lessons I Took Away from May

End of the Month Recap: 5 Lessons I Took Away from May

I am going to be honest…I have been struggling to figure out the direction I want to take Healing Hopefuls. I started this page because I wanted to create a safe place for anyone who may need one. At some point along the way, I think I forgot what I was writing for in the first place. I write as a way to understand myself, and hopefully heal along the way. By speaking my truth, sharing my insight, and owning up to my ugly, I aim to connect with strangers who have ever felt ‘broken’ in some way. So, with that said, I wanted to create an ‘End of the Month Recap’.

What can you expect in these posts? Bits of knowledge I felt ‘moved’ to share with YOU, epiphanies that I was quick enough to ‘grab’ and write down, as well as food for thought, and potentially a new perspective for you to consider. There really are no rules to this thing, and if I am able to help others while helping myself, I am going to do just that. Spreading ideas, starting conversations, and creating our own theories is important to do on an individual level. These are just some of the thoughts I put down on paper to share with anyone who may need them.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

Dear Depression,

Dear Depression,

It’s #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth, and you know what that means…I am going to write about it! Except this time, I am doing things a little differently; I am writing a letter directly to Depression.

If you have spent any part of your life having to overcome the battle of this mental illness, you will understand this letter on a deeper level. If you have never experienced the struggle that is depression, then I urge you to read this letter so you can try to understand. Depression takes on many forms, and it has this cruel way of making everything seem fine to the outside world when in reality, the person suffering is having to fight a constant internal battle.

For me, writing about my own experiences, and sharing the struggles that I face has been a key component in my own mental health recovery. I hope by reading this letter you feel better knowing you are not alone, or you are able to take something away from it so you can empathize with those in your life who do suffer from depression.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

'Therapy' is NOT a Bad Word!

'Therapy' is NOT a Bad Word!

It took me a long time to admit that I needed to talk to a professional. I had come to a point in my life where I felt I had to add another ‘tool’ to keep my recovery going, and therapy was something I had been avoiding. Why? I am not too sure. Fear? Stigma? Pride? It may have been a mixture of all three, but I am happy that I finally got out of the way of myself.

Admitting that you may need to talk to someone is NOT a weakness. In fact, it has been because of my choice to see what therapy was all about that I have been able to see where more of my strengths lie. Before I chose to take this next step, I was one of the many people in the world who considered therapy to mean that something was seriously wrong with me. Oh, how wrong I was about that.

In this post, I hope to destigmatize the word ‘Therapy’ and let it be known that we should never feel ashamed about needing some kind of help. I recommend therapy to even the healthiest of people. There is nothing wrong with having an unbiased, professional opinion about our life, our truth, and our stories. We never know how beneficial something can be for us until we try it. Same goes for therapy.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you!

Learning to Choose Inspiration Over Desperation

Learning to Choose Inspiration Over Desperation

5 years ago, today, I found myself in Jail Cell #11. My ‘roommate’ appeared to be a regular and very aware of the fact that I was terrified. Despite shame being a feeling I was familiar with; this was a level of shame that I had not yet experienced. Up until that humbling realization that I had put myself in jail, I had been pretty convinced that I was invincible; that I could get away with anything I set my mind to. Getting arrested was a pivotal moment in my life. It was through this time of desperation that I was able to make a step in the right direction.

Despite this incident being the motivation I needed to quit my addiction to amphetamines, the big question I was left with, was why did it always take desperation for me to want better for myself? Surely, there was another way to go about how I live my life.

In this post, I talk about the two motivating factors we all tend to lean on when it comes to making a change in our lives: Inspiration & Desperation. I beg the question of, why does desperation seem to be the most popular choice, and why is it that we wait until we are at our worst to want better? I am only speaking from experience here, but I guarantee all of us have an example of when we were inspired, and when we felt desperate. Since my arrest five years ago, I have slowly but surely begun learning how to choose inspiration over desperation. Isn’t it beautiful that we always have a choice?

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

5 Ways to Become Independent of Your Codependency!

5 Ways to Become Independent of Your Codependency!

It was not until recently that I discovered a root cause of all my toxic, and failed relationships: Codependency. You see, I have had no reason to define, or put a name to my own behaviors because when you are not aware of your own actions being toxic, you have no reason to think differently. It is very clear to me why I have always felt ‘less than’, or unable to please the people in my life, and it has so much to do with the codependent mindset I have developed from believing I had to put others above myself.

In this post, I share 5 important tools and skills I use on daily basis to help me become independent of my codependency. This is by no means the be-all, end-all, but it is a good start for those that may be struggling in their current relationships, and not necessarily know why. This post is to serve as an important reminder that you deserve to be treated the way you treat others and that you are allowed to set healthy boundaries, and standards for yourself, and YOUR happiness.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you!   

You Must Be Willing to Stand Alone!

You Must Be Willing to Stand Alone!

The word ‘alone’ gets a bad reputation because a lot of people tend to associate being alone with being lonely; that is simply not the case. Being alone is a choice; being lonely is a feeling. A feeling that we have the ability to change on our own!

It has been a full year since I made the decision to move away from home, and in that time, the term ‘alone’ has taken on a much different, and very important meaning in my life.  

In this post, I share with you what I have learned thus far since choosing to be alone. When we are able to make decisions for ourselves, lead a life that fulfills us, and are able to find reasons to enjoy our own company, we quickly find out that being alone is quite the opposite of being lonely. In fact, choosing to stand alone just may be exactly what you need to figure out exactly who you are. 

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.  

10 Lessons My Mental Illness is (still) Teaching Me

10 Lessons My Mental Illness is (still) Teaching Me

My Mental Illness never fails to remind me that it has a key role in the way I live my everyday life. I still struggle with the fact that each day has its own set of challenges, but that is only because I still struggle to let go of what I cannot control. Having to accept that my mental health will always require a certain level of work has been challenging, because let’s be honest, mental illness can be exhausting.


In this post, I share TEN lessons my mental illness is still having to teach me about myself, or better yet, lessons I am still having to accept about my journey. We are all going to face our own set of challenges in life, and for a portion of the world, mental illness will be one of those battles. We cannot deny what we must face about ourselves, and the 10 lessons I talk about are just some of the truths I can no longer run from.
 
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

Be Brave Enough to Get Out of Your Own Way!

Be Brave Enough to Get Out of Your Own Way!

How often do you find yourself doing things that keep you busy, but prevent you from being truly productive? If you are anything like me, you tend to procrastinate even the simplest of tasks as a way to avoid feeling overwhelmed by everyday responsibilities. Keep in mind that I am not writing this because I have the answers, I am writing this because I am guilty of it too. Guilty of what you ask? Of being in my own way.

In this post, I talk about some of the everyday examples where I have kept myself from moving forward. I also share some of the ways I have been able to pull myself out of my self-sabotaging procrastination that can often times, leave me feeling debilitated. This post is for anyone who may struggle to find the balance between what needs to be done, and what we want to accomplish.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

5 Daily Habits That Make Me a Better Person

5 Daily Habits That Make Me a Better Person

My life has always revolved around having certain ‘habits’, but it was not until my recovery that I started to learn (and accept) which habits were good for me, and which were bad; most of them being the latter. Because of this, I have spent the past couple years discovering which habits I could incorporate into my daily routine to make me a better person. What I have found thus far has been incredibly beneficial, not only in my recovery but just as a human being in general.

In this post, I share with you 5 daily habits that keep me on the right track, and I go over what each habit has done for my life since making it an everyday priority. We are all going to face tougher days in life, but it can be the daily habits we choose for ourselves that keep us afloat when the going gets tough. These may not all work for you, but I think all are worth giving a shot!

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.   

My Take on Being a 'Woman'!

My Take on Being a 'Woman'!

It was not until this year that I truly paid any attention to International Women’s Day. I know what you are probably thinking, ‘How could a woman not pay attention to a day that is dedicated to the achievement of being a Woman?’ Well, for one, it was not until recently that I even granted myself the permission to own, and accept the accomplishment of what I feel it means to be a ‘Woman’. So, when International Women’s Day came around this time of year, it gave me an opportunity to really think about the word ‘Woman’ and what it means to me, as well as what it has meant to me in the past.

In this post, I try to piece together the many moments in my life that I have felt like a Woman, but also, the many moments where I am taken back, and able to feel like that scared little girl I have once been. This post is not about ‘Feminism’ or however YOU choose to define that word. This post is simply just my perspective of being a female, a girl, and most recently, a Woman. A title that I fought off for quite some time, but am finally starting to see the beauty in what it actually means to appreciate it.  

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.  

On Life, Loss, & Learning That One Cannot Happen Without the Other!

On Life, Loss, & Learning That One Cannot Happen Without the Other!

The idea for this post didn’t come to me because of good news I received, but because of the opposite. The news of an old friend passing caused me to take a deeper look into loss and what it has meant for me over the years. Although this is a much tougher topic to cover, I always feel that it’s necessary to explore both the ups and downs of life, because like my title says, with life comes loss, and we must learn to accept that one cannot happen without the other.

In this post, I talk about loss in a way that hopefully offers you a lighter way of looking at something so dark. Not that we should become numb to it happening, but instead, we should live our days moving forward believing that our life is for something greater than the pain we experience. If we allow the darker times to consume us completely, we take the risk of forgetting just how beautiful life can be when we are able to learn from it!

This post is not only dedicated to my friend who is now in peace, but also, to any, and all families that have been impacted by the violence that has been occurring...everywhere quite frankly. We live in a scary world, but we cannot allow the world to make us afraid to live!

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you. 

You Are a Result of Your Actions!

You Are a Result of Your Actions!

We all know the saying, ‘Actions speak louder than words!’ but how many of us are actually applying that into our everyday lives? I know I am guilty of having a great idea, talking about wanting to make it happen, but then allowing life to get in the way, and realizing a couple months later that I forgot all about my ‘great idea’. It is one of those things where, unfortunately, it is easier said than done. So, how can we go about changing that?

In this post, I talk about the importance of OUR ACTIONS and how the everyday choices, and routines we develop lead to the RESULT of who will become. When it comes to change, and pursuing the goals we want to achieve, eventually we have to stop talking about it and do the things that allow us to become it.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

(Please) STOP ‘Looking’ For Love…It Will Find YOU!

(Please) STOP ‘Looking’ For Love…It Will Find YOU!

Now that February is here, I wanted to start off strong with a ‘love’ post, since that tends to be the common theme this month, with Valentine’s Day right around the corner. This can stir up a mixture of emotions within people depending on their current relationship status, or situation. Regardless of if you are currently in a relationship, boycotting them, or wanting to be in one, the message within this post is for anyone!

In this post, I talk about ‘love’ and the injustice we are doing ourselves by looking for it in all the wrong places, settling for it because we think we need someone, or hoping for it because we believe it will fill a void. I talk about the differences between loneliness and being alone, and hopefully, you will leave this article with the important message of self-love, and why we should ever only focus on that kind of love in the first place.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you!

8 Truths My Tattoos Won't Tell You!

8 Truths My Tattoos Won't Tell You!

When it comes to tattoos, we all have our reasons for going under the needle to permanently put ink into our skin. In the 8 years that I have been partaking in the art form that is tattooing, I have learned many truths about having tattoos; what they mean to me, what they mean to other people, and why the latter is the least bit of my concern.

As I excitedly await a tattoo appointment I have today, I felt that it was appropriate to write about my tattoos and shed some light on the topic. In this post, I talk about 8 of the more important truths I have gathered through my journey, passion, and appreciation for ART that is tattooing.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you!

A New Year is Always a Good Reason for a New You!

A New Year is Always a Good Reason for a New You!

We are always expected to have a list of goals that we want to accomplish in the New Year, and it is easy to feel pressure to be more prepared than most of us are ever truly feeling. So, instead of getting stressed about all the things we may need to change in our life, let’s allow ourselves the permission to be excited about this New Year, and the potential of a ‘New You!’

In this post, I try to avoid the word ‘resolutions’ and I do my best to focus on what a New Year could mean for a New You! As cliché as it may be to believe in the magic of new beginnings, there is a reason for why there is a magic there in the first place. Who really knows what the New Year could bring, but only you have the choice to make this Year a new one for YOU! Celebrate that!

Thank you for reading! I appreciate you!

10 Healthy Ways to Manage Your Mental Health This Holiday Season!

10 Healthy Ways to Manage Your Mental Health This Holiday Season!

Whether you care to admit it or not, we all have our own ways of dealing with our Mental Health. It’s important to acknowledge the fact that mental health is prominent in everyone’s life. We must all actively work towards maintaining a certain level of balance, because, without it, we may fall a little too far off course. The Holidays can bring up a lot of emotions within us, and I know I am not the only one who may need extra ways to manage my mental health this Holiday Season!
 
In this post, I share TEN ideas and ways to potentially help manage your mental health. With all the end of year festivities that may, or may not be occurring, it is nice to have some coping mechanisms up your sleeve to use when you feel overwhelmed at any point in time. Please note that not all these may cater to your liking, but also, you never know when something new may surprise you!
 
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.  

Rock Bottom is NOT for Everyone!

Rock Bottom is NOT for Everyone!

If you have been following my journey at all, you already know that I like to cover the topic of addiction, recovery, and overall well-being. Although my writing dates back from before my ‘Rock Bottom’, Healing Hopefuls was created while I was learning the ropes of recovery, and coming to terms with what lead to my ‘Rock Bottom’ in the first place.

In this post, I wanted to talk about what that term really means, and for those of you that deal with addiction currently, are in active recovery, or know a loved one who suffers, this is for YOU. It’s important to realize that to get better, and remain in recovery, we do NOT have to hit ‘Rock Bottom’ to finally decide to do so. I never claim for it to be easy, but we also do NOT have to wait until it is our only option.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.