When I chose the word ‘Healing’ to use in the title of this article, I was using it with various meanings in mind. I do not mean it in a sense of ‘Curing’ because I do not believe that the healing process is ever truly over. We heal in time if we are willing to do the work to get there, but the whole point of the healing process is to continually recover from something or someone that caused us any kind of damage in the first place. We are all healing from something whether that be an addiction, a heartbreak, some kind of trauma, mental illness, or even, something that occurred during our childhood. There are many things that can occur within our lifetime that causes us emotional turmoil. Once we decide to start healing, is the moment that this hypothetical timeline begins.
For me, that moment began the day I chose to never drink alcohol again, or do lines of cocaine to numb whatever it was I was trying not to feel at the time. This may not be the same reason you decided to start your timeline, but my point is that we all have to start somewhere, and it was at my lowest point that finally made me take notice that something had to change.
In this day and age, it is very easy to compare our progress to those that appear to have all the answers. We scroll through our social media outlets while viewing everyone’s highlight reel that they choose to show the world, and we get lost in this idea that we aren’t where we are supposed to be. We see people we went to school with at many different points in their lives, and it can be very easy to think to ourselves, “Why hasn’t that happened for me yet?” or, “When will I experience true happiness in my life?” This is the kind of thinking that will set us back in our own timelines of healing, and we need to stop comparing our progress with someone else’s because quite frankly, we never know what is truly going on behind a “status update.”
It is important to understand that there isn’t a deadline to this healing process, there is only you and the belief that you can be better than your worst days. Earlier, when I said that the healing process is never truly over, I meant that although we may heal the pain that was caused, being the best version of who we are will require some kind of work for the rest of our life. If you are actively working towards healing yourself, you will find that there isn’t a point where you are just done. Each day still holds its challenges, but it is a matter of understanding that we have come so far from where we have been, and we can continue healing if we accept that life will always throw us curveballs. Your ‘Healing’ timeline is strictly based on what works for you, on your own time, your own schedule, and your own goals. We mustn’t get discouraged when we see others progressing at a quicker rate. The quickest way to set yourself back is by thinking that you need to have it all together by a certain time. That just simply is not the case, because ‘Healing’ is a case by case basis.
I am by no means saying that this is going to be easy, because getting to the root of our problems, and facing certain things that we have been avoiding, is also the exact reason why it is going to be tougher. In a way, I was taking a few steps back when I decided to finally start my ‘Healing’ timeline. By this I mean, I was set back a few notches because I still had to learn why I was drinking and drugging to the point that I was no longer in control of my life. I had to face those same demons I had gotten so good at pushing down, that when I did finally face them, it was much harder to do than what I had become used to doing. It took me almost 24 years of my 25 years of life to realize that my drinking and drugging stemmed from the fact that I suffer from depression and anxiety; something I am still trying to wrap my head around because, for my entire life, I thought this was how everyone’s mind worked. The first step to any kind of healing begins with addressing the problem. Internally, or externally, we all have our own means of coping with the set of cards we are dealt. What worked for me once before was inevitably going to crash and burn, but the second I said out loud, what I needed help with, was the second I felt a little pressure come off my chest.
My healing timeline is nowhere near over, and I am not ashamed to admit that. I have caused myself a lot of damage that still needs to be undone, but at least now I am willing to undue it. Whereas, I used to think I could just avoid it. With that mindset, all you are doing is putting off what needs to be done. There are many days that I don’t care to admit that I am still triggered to resort back to my old ways, but I don’t, and I know that is how my healing timeline is going in the right direction. I no longer allow myself to compare my life to someone else’s because my journey is not theirs, and their journey is not mine. It is important that we support all people in life, and hope them the best, while knowing deep down that we will get where we are supposed to be when we are supposed to be there. A piece of your timeline involves supporting others while they try to figure it out as well. When we stop comparing and start supporting one another, THAT is when we truly begin to progress.
No matter where you are in your healing timeline, keep going. There are always going to be days that challenge you, feelings that discourage you, and thoughts that work against you, but at the end of the day, making the choice to heal is the best decision you will ever make. It’s important that you know we are all healing at different speeds because we all suffer from something different. Address the problem, and do what you can, little by little, to become the person that you want to be. Remember that the first step is always the hardest, and with each step, we will keep healing on our own timeline, and at our own pace.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you. I love you.