It appears that from a young age I was seeking a connection with something greater than myself. It would take many years to reach the awareness that the connection I was seeking was with a Higher Self. It would take a while longer to realize that this connection was strengthened by my own inner work around unconditional self-love. Truth is that I’ve accepted and made peace with my past. It was a critical part of my healing journey. I'm clear that the events of my childhood were merely experiences that needed to occur in service to my awakening. I struggled with being a child of an alcoholic, a child of domestic violence, love addiction, sexual trauma, anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. All these external experiences were leading me back to myself. It wasn’t until I stopped using substances that I allowed myself the opportunity to manage my mental health and heal the unresolved trauma.
I was fortunate enough to get sober in my twenties.
I was working as a helping professional all the while experiencing tremendous shame due to helping other women better their lives while I was not bettering mine. Because of the shame that I felt, it manifested into severe depression. I was waking up filled with anxiety, telling myself I wouldn’t drink for the day and finding myself drinking as soon as I was done with work. The cycle became so bad that I started having suicidal ideations. I didn’t want to die, I just wanted the emotional suffering to stop. As soon as the ideations began, I reached out to a supportive friend who helped me make an appointment with a psychotherapist. I can remember feeling a large weight being lifted after that first session. I felt relieved that someone knew about the suffering inside of me. Acknowledging my thoughts and feelings had made a world of difference. Within the first three months of my sessions, I felt a strong urge to stop drinking altogether.
The final straw for me was another random sexual encounter that had left me feeling like shit about myself. My decision to stop drinking came to me on April 13th, 2006. It really wasn’t about sobriety for me. It was about living up to my full potential.
Within 6 months of my sobriety, I went back to school for a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Psychology. It was a transformational experience that focused on a holistic approach to healing. I learned to work with my thoughts and feelings instead of feeling ruled by them. I learned how to take care of myself on all levels: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. I embraced new paradigms that had me seeing through a more positive lens on life. I learned, "I am a spiritual being having a human experience." Having no religious training, it was the first time I acknowledged myself as divine or innately okay. It was a revelation for me. If I could keep seeing myself as a spirit having a human experience, I could begin to heal the guilt and shame of all my poor choices. Furthermore, I didn't have to continue making poor choices because I felt bad about who I was at the core. I could accept my humanness and in turn, remember the truth of who I am.
This spiritual perspective began my shift into all things Self: self-acceptance, self-love, self-compassion, and self-forgiveness. Before I had thought that if I loved other people enough, then, I myself, was lovable, but providing this same level of care to myself was proving to be a process. However, learning that I had just as much a right to love as others did, assisted my recovery greatly.
I knew that if I really wanted to be authentic and connect with a new way of being, I had to live substance-free. True connection isn't clouded by the illusion of substances. I found the greatest way to show appreciation for this life was by being present for it. I am mindful about surrounding myself with healthy people, engaging in daily self-care, and being of service for others. There is purpose and meaning in being the best person possible. I now know that I am enough just the way I am. Doing purposeful work has been a key to my recovery success, and I truly believe that there are phases to our recovery. There is inner work, conscious living, and empowered expression.
Though recovery will always include inner work and living my best life, I truly find myself in a place of empowered expression when I am able to share my talents and gifts through my leadership. I’ve created a successful recovery coaching business where I support other men and women in using their recovery story for purpose and prosperity. I find people who are in recovery to be resilient, creative, and courageous; and I am determined to lift up those qualities.
We all have something incredible to share with this world and I truly believe I went through many challenges so that I could be a light for others. I want to see more people stepping forward into leadership in their own lives, family, and community.
My struggles have proven to be an opportunity for my spiritual awakening. I’m grateful every day for my past challenges. Recovery is about remembering the truth of who you are. Once you can learn paradigms, or ways of thinking that support you in getting better, recovery becomes quite effortless.
I no longer want to check out because I’m fully embracing checking in!
Beverly Sartain is a certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor and a Recovery Life Coach, specializing in alternative paths to recovery for clients seeking methods and treatments beyond the traditional 12-step approach. Beverly has a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from The University of Florida and a Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from The University of Santa Monica. Beverly is the owner of Recovery Life Management where she coaches and mentor’s men and women in using their recovery for greater purpose and prosperity through a recovery-based project or business. Beverly truly believes that people go through recovery to remember the truth of who they are and to bring more consciousness to their family, community, and world. If you would like to participate in Beverly's private conscious community, feel free to learn more here. Beverly can also be found at www.recoverylifemanagement.com.
When Beverly first reached out to me, she informed me that she had read my story and was able to connect with it on many levels; immediately, I was intrigued and wanted to know more about her. We got to talking, and before I knew it, she had asked if there was anything she could do to support my message behind Healing Hopefuls. The whole point of this page is to share stories, and ultimately, bring people together by showing them that they are not alone. Regardless of the story you have to share, or the reason for why you are needing to heal, the point of all of this, is that we all go through specific experiences that break us, and if we are lucky, they make us.
Beverly's story is important. She went about her recovery with an alternative approach, and her story proves that there are ways to become sober, remain sober, and help others do the same. She has turned her weaknesses into strengths, and she is someone who is doing as much as she can to help those need it.
Thank you for reading! I appreciatei you!