I think we all can create our own definition of what it means to ‘show up’ in life, right? In case you are wondering, I would define it as, owning up to whatever barriers you are having to face so you can make it to the next part of your journey. When we decide to ‘show up’ for life, whether it be in a relationship, a career move, or for ourselves, we are ultimately making the choice to commit to something better without ever truly knowing what will come of it. To ‘show up’ for life means to take a chance on something YOU believe in because either, it just feels right, or you have come far enough to know right from wrong.
I only started showing up for my life as of 901 days ago, but within that time, I have still had to overcome barriers I didn’t even realize I had to face. Life also has its own way of intervening when you least expect it to, and certain situations happen that you could have never predicted. I am still having to learn that fact. It has only been 101 days since choosing to talk to a professional, and there has yet to be a session where I am not having to break down a wall; a wall I did not even realize that I had built for some form of protection.
Most days, I am filled with intense emotions that I am having to filter out in various, unique ways. Like I said in the intro, it’s all about balance! Do you want to know one of the hardest lessons I am currently having to sit with, digest, and come to terms with? That there are always going to be parts of me that will constantly require my attention. That due to my past abuse within relationships, and the way I treated myself because of them, I will always have specific areas that will need to be managed more closely and coped with in a healthy manner. It has required a lot of work on my part to rewire the way I was conditioned to think and act.
We are all a product of our environment, the people we choose to surround ourselves with, and the information we decide to consume for our own pleasure. We are only able to ‘show up’ for the next part of our journey when we can mend past traumas, heal what’s broken (by us or by others), cope with what remains, and live with what does not. It is only when we avoid dealing with certain emotions that we risk stunting our growth, or worse, moving in the wrong direction. This is not to say that you have had to suffer from anything in the first place or live with some kind of daily struggle. This is just to say that to move forward, we must let go of what we cannot change, accept what was not meant for us, and feel what demands to be felt. To ‘show up’ for anything in life, we cannot bring with us the baggage of the past if it will not bring anything to the table for our future endeavors.
By showing up for our life, we, in turn, expect a certain level of respect from others. When we start to take better care of ourselves, we start to see that we have always deserved way more than what we would have settled for in the past. This goes for people, jobs, friendships, and passions. When we are honest with ourselves about our faults, and what we should not take fault for, we can speak openly, and truthfully, because we know that it’s coming from a good place. When we ‘show up’ for life, it’s because we are finally learning to believe, and trust our instincts, emotions, and intentions. When we are not able to fully commit to the next step of something, it is then that we must get honest with what is holding us back from being ready for it.
Believing in what you are not truly sure about is always going to be scary. This is the fear that keeps a lot of us from pursuing some of life’s best adventures. We allow an experience from our past to dictate the direction of our future, and this can be very dangerous if we are not willing to change for the better, or ‘show up’ for new opportunities.
When it comes to love, you should not wait around for someone to ‘show up’ for you. It should come with ease, and without much thought, because when two people are ready for something, you won’t have to question it. Accept that some people are just not ready for this part of their life. When it comes to careers, jobs, and the work that supports you, make sure you are receiving as much as you are giving, and do not live your life building someone else’s dream all the while making excuses for why you never chased your own. That is, was, and always will be your choice. We are all given the same amount of time in a day, and again, it all goes back to balance, and how we choose to manage our time, and what we prioritize. When it comes to passions, you will not struggle to ‘show up’ for them because once you discover what you are supposed to do, you will do it wholeheartedly, and without question. Even though you may not know if any of it is for anything, you do it anyway, because there is something telling you to ‘show up’ and you should never ignore that feeling.
Maybe you are ready for the next step in a relationship, and the other person is not. Maybe the job opportunity is perfect, but something is telling you ‘No’. Maybe there is something you need help with, and you are ready to finally ask for some. Maybe you found the strength to walk away from something toxic, and you are ready to learn how to love yourself again. Maybe you are tired of battling drug abuse, and you decide to give recovery a chance. Maybe you are ready to take a leap of faith in your own passions, and you choose to ‘show up’ for whatever that means.
Whichever the case, I hope you are choosing to ‘show up’ for what feels right, learning from what felt wrong, and deciding on what to pursue, because you finally are beginning to believe in yourself, your purpose, and the people that have helped you get there along the way.
When you ‘show up’ for your life, you will never have to question whether someone else will be able to as well; they just will.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.